


Jaaawwwwnnnn

by PatPrecieux



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Humor, John Is So Done, John is a Saint, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Non-Consensual Spanking, Season/Series 01, Sherlock is a Brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:59:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: When Sherlock really wants something, he whines. It always works, doesn't it?





	Jaaawwwwnnnn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_am_lampy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_lampy/gifts).



> John does his best to satisfy his whiny boyfriend, one way or the other.

"Jaaawwwwnnnn!"

 

John Watson slouched lower in his chair and tried to hide behind the newspaper he was reading. He KNEW that whiny tone of Sherlock's. It was ALWAYS a bit not good.

 

"Jaaawwwwnnnn!!"

 

The doctor shuddered. This could lead to almost anything from "Go to the clinic and bring me back something interesting from the medical waste bin.", to "I want to buy a waterbed and fill it with tropical fish."

 

"Jaaawwwwnnnn!!!!"

 

He would ignore Sherlock. Just this once, he would. Oh hell, who was he kidding. That NEVER worked, besides he was an embarrassingly soft touch where his lover was concerned.

 

"I know you're here John. Your ears stick out on both sides of the paper you're using as camouflage."

 

"Oh charming, and ta for that. What is it you desire your highness?"

 

Sherlock sniffed in distain, "I wish to discuss gay porn and kink."

 

John groaned and threw the paper to the floor. "Of course you do. God forbid we should have a normal conversation. Well, get on with it then."

 

"Recently, while doing research regarding our recent sexual exploits, it has come to my attention that a particular kink has emflamed my desires. I wish to explore further."

 

Fervently hoping this particular kink was nothing illegal or potentially lethal in nature, he folded his hands in his lap and sighed, "Going to share anytime soon, genius?"

 

"That is the point is it not? No need to scowl John, I'm simply easing you into it. I know how squeamish you tend to be."

 

Now he was worried. What the fuck were they talking about? "I'm a damn doctor Sherlock. Not squeamish about the human body in the least. WHAT bloody kink?"

 

"Bloody? No John, I know you would never willingly engage in bloodplay. Your Hypocrites Oath and all that."

 

"That's Hippocratic Oath you tosser! WHICH KINK??"

 

"Very well, impatience does not become you John. I want you to spank me."

 

At first John just blinked at Sherlock without a word until relief washed over him. Spanking, hmm. While it WAS somewhat tame as far as kinks go and, at the moment, actually appealed to the beleaguered blogger, he was less than enthused.

 

"Just, ah, what brought this on?"

 

"Do pay attention John. As I said, watching gay porn. That particular activity stimulated my arousal."

 

John couldn't resist teasing, "You mean you got a chubby. Or is this kink worthy of a full fledged Baker Street boner?"

 

"That's crude even for you John, and frankly beneath you to make light of my proclivities."

 

The older man felt bad now. He never wanted Sherlock to be ashamed of his sexual desires ever again. They'd worked too hard to achieve the intimacy they now shared.

 

"I apologize luv. I'm not making fun of you, just taking the piss. Forgive me?" He took the taller man in his arms and smothered the long ivory neck with kisses.

 

"This time. However, YOU are the one with the Victorian concept of negotiating these types of things."

 

"And we will Lock, promise. For tonight though, just let me take you to bed and make love to you. A proper sorry, yeah?"

 

John began kissing the pale chest and Sherlock was sufficiently distracted. "If you must, but this is NOT over Jo...oh, Jaaawwwwnnnn!"

***~~~***

That had been Wednesday and John had indeed taken Sherlock's mind in a different direction that night. But as Saturday dawned, he held little hope that his lover could be put off again, and frankly, he found it rather distressing.

 

Not that the doctor was adverse to a little slap and tickle in the bedroom, but this was Sherlock. Christ only knew how he would react to the reality verses the fantasy. Well, maybe the detective would lose interest.

 

"Jaaawwwwnnnn." John cringed, "DAMN."

 

Walking into the sitting room, he was gobsmacked to see Sherlock completely naked, ass up, over the back of John's chair. He stopped dead in his tracks and just stared.

 

"Don't dawdle John. Get on with it!"

 

"THIS is your idea of negotiating?"

 

"Fine! Let's negotiate. I had assumed you would prefer to use your hand but I would be agreeable to a paddle or belt. No canes however, that is a hard limit. Too many stripes on my legs in primary school."

 

At the very thought of it, John felt sick. "Sherlock, I would never use anything like...just no."

 

"Then what is the problem? You require incentive? Boring, but if needs must." With that, Sherlock began to shimmy and shake his bum back and forth.

 

Suddenly, John's anxiety dissolved into giggles. "Oh luv, I can't help it. You look like a giant puppy, wagging it's tail, excited over getting a treat."

 

Before Sherlock could even voice his insult, "Ooo-Hoo. Boys? I've baked some fresh cinnamon buns for....oh dear. Oh my."

 

Ignoring his nudity, except for the strategically placed Union Jack pillow, Sherlock bellowed, "Mrs.Hudson! Were you absent the day they taught knocking in school?!"

 

Shifting the pillow to the rearview, curls flying, Sherlock stalked away to the bedroom blushing from head to toe.

 

"Mrs.Hudson, I'm sooo sorry. We, I mean he, I mean. Bloody hell, I don't know what I mean."

 

"It's fine dear. I know how he can be."

 

At that moment, Sherlock returned fully dressed, grabbed his Belstaff and growled, "I'm going out. ALONE."

 

John grimaced, "What about lunch, or maybe an early dinner?"

 

"Clearly my 'appetites' don't interest you John, so I'll thank you to fuck off for the foreseeable future." The door slammed behind him.

 

"John dear, are you having a domestic?"

 

"So it would appear Mrs.Hudson. Again sorry."

 

"Don't worry dear. Do you still want those buns?"

 

Seeing John's cheeks heat a bright pink, her eyes twinkled and she added, "Not THOSE buns dear, these buns.

 

A nervous squeak escaped his lips, "Yes, sure, they look delicious, thanks."

 

"If I might ask, what are you two rowing over?"

 

Without thinking, John blurted out, "He wants me to spank him."

 

She nodded smiling, "And you're refusing why exactly?"

 

"After that performance, damned if I know."

***~~~***

Sherlock's afternoon jaunt became John's overnight nightmare. The mad wanker had hidden himself so deeply in his Homeless Network not even Mycroft could help.

 

By the time he came back to the flat the next day, John was frantic. "Where the bloody hell have you been?"

 

Paying him no mind, Sherlock went directly to the loo and locked the door. Soon the shower was running. John used the time to, what else, make tea.

 

In minutes, Sherlock flounced into the room bedecked in his sheet toga. "You seem peeved John."

 

"Peeved, PEEVED?! Try beside myself with worry, scared near to death. Where were you last night? What were you doing?"

 

"As I said, out. As for what I was doing, perhaps I found someone to give me what you would not."

 

Immediately, Sherlock realized he had gone the proverbial step too far. John first turned deathly pale and then fiery red.

 

"You went to... you paid someone... you allowed some strange man to..."

 

At least Sherlock had the decency to feel ashamed, "I would not do that. I wouldn't do that to YOU John. It seems I may have acted a bit rashly. What say we simply forget all this?"

 

"Nope don't think so 'sweetheart'. Matter of fact, I've decided your kink has suddenly become mine as well. As they say, no time like the present."

 

Sherlock found he couldn't deduce how he went from standing on his feet one second to being sprawled across John's knees the next, but his nose nearly pressed to the carpet confirmed the situation. Then came the cold draft when the sheet was pulled away.

 

"Don't know why I balked at this Lock, seems totally appropriate. Just what the doctor ordered."

 

"John I, shit! That hurt, not so hard! I'm rethinking my... Ow dammit John."

 

For several minutes the sounds of firm flesh on flesh smacks echoed through the flat and down to 221A where Mrs.Hudson chuckled and sipped a bit of whiskey against the morning chill.

 

Upstairs, satisfied with his handiwork, John gently patted the twin globes across his lap. "This shade of red suits you. Remind me to get you a shirt the same color. Up you get."

 

Stiffly, the younger man stood pulling the sheet around him and rubbing his bottom. John leaned back and relaxed.

 

"So, should we call this a job well done then? Up to your porny kink standards?"

 

Sherlock flushed, "Your technique is without fault, however I must admit the results were rather different from what I had envisioned Captain Watson. Less arousing and more..."

 

"Painful? Well guess what, that's the kind of spanking whiny little brats deserve. Seeing how much I love you though, we can negotiate a version where the outcome would be more to your liking. Interested gorgeous?"

 

Dropping the sheet and flopping stomach down on the sofa he whined, "How can I even think about that? My arse will never cool down enough ever again to find out!"

 

"Shame shame, no more whining. As for cooling your arse, let me handle that." Bending to his knees, John began to lick broad wet strokes across said posh arse. His tongue never stopped until the heated skin was covered in quivering gooseflesh.

 

As Mrs.Hudson puttered about her flat, the last whine of the day drifted down seventeen stairs in the form of a deep pitched groan, "Jaaawwwwnnnn, ooohhh, Jaaawwwwnnnn!!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be a reliable cure for a whiny boyfriend. YOU decide. ;D
> 
> To Teddy, who does her best to satisfy me when I whine for more of her stories, with wishes for a Happy Mother's Day.


End file.
